On the last day of March
I keep wanting to come to this newsletter with something profound to share. Or be able to succinctly write about what’s been percolating in my brain. But instead it all feels scrambled, which given that we’re over a year into this pandemic I guess I shouldn’t feel too bad about that.
As I type this, I’m two weeks out from my second vaccine shot, which means I’m fully vaccinated, and I don’t know how to fully wrap my head around that. Living with a chronic illness has always been difficult and complicated, and this past year has only made it more so. As are my feelings about the vaccine rollout and what comes next. And honestly, so many of my feelings about any number of things are complicated these days. What I DO know is I want to move forward, not go “back to normal,” and slowly. I want to be gentle with myself and others, and take everything one tiny, timid step at a time. I hope you’re able to do the same.
In the meantime, here are the things that have provided entertainment, distraction, connection, and comfort over the past few weeks.
What I’m reading…
What Doesn’t Kill You by Tessa Miller – I finished this one a few weeks ago and still haven’t written a review because I have so many thoughts about it. Miller tells her personal story of being diagnosed and living with Chron’s, while also providing a journalistic perspective on what it’s like to exist with a chronic illness in the U.S. As most of you probably know, I was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis at 16 years old (20 years ago this month!) and am always looking for books that share a similar experience. And Miller’s book was about as close as I’ve come. I underlined countless passages, felt more seen than I have in a long time, and highly recommend this to anyone with a chronic illness, but maybe especially to those who don’t. She does a wonderful job of depicting the various struggles and challenges that come with being chronically ill. The only thing I would add is that because CF is such a unique disease (and a terminal one), there were a handful of aspects I either couldn’t relate to or felt were not accurate to my experience, but that will likely be true of anyone who reads this since no two people are the same. (This book was gifted to me by Henry Holt but my opinions are my own.)
One Day We’ll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter by Scaachi Koul – I listened to this on audio (via Scribd, an audiobook subscription that I’ve been using more and more these days) and it was fantastic. Koul’s personal essays are both funny and heartfelt, and describe growing up as a daughter of Indian immigrants in Canada. She covers difficult subjects like racism, harassment, anxiety, grief, and others. Koul narrates the audiobook, which is my favorite way to listen to memoirs and essay collections because it adds a whole other element to the reading experience.
The Nine Lives of Rose Napolitano by Donna Freitas – This landed on my doorstep (literally) at just the right time. As I get older (I’ll be 37 this year) my feelings around having kids have shifted in ways I didn’t expect. In my late 20s and early 30s I was pretty sure having kids wasn’t for me, for various reasons, but now I’ve been questioning that a little more. It’s a complicated subject for me, and difficult to explain – largely because having CF has made the decision feel less like my own and more like a product of my circumstances. I’m working on writing more about this and will share here if I feel comfortable, but this book explores what it means to not want kids (particularly as a woman), and what happens when your partner feels differently. We visit Rose in nine different iterations of her life that vary according to the decisions she makes. It’s fascinating, and at times hard to follow, but I couldn’t put it down. It releases this Tuesday, April 6. (This book was gifted to me by Viking but my opinions are my own.)
Latest book purchases…
How Beautiful We Were by Imbolo Mbue – I recently treated myself to a signed first edition subscription from Greenlight Bookstore in Brooklyn and this was the first book I received. It sounds fascinating, and while I still haven’t read Behold the Dreamers, I’m curious to read this fictional story of an African village and the “environmental degradation wrought by an American oil company.”
Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters – This has been all over bookstagram so I finally had to get a copy for myself. Plus the cover is beautiful.
Books on my preorder list…
While Justice Sleeps by Stacey Abrams (releases May 11) – Aside from being an incredible politician and voting rights activist, Abrams is also a novelist. Until now she’s written strictly romance novels (which I also want to read), but her newest book is a political thriller that I cannot WAIT to read. I’m always looking for thrillers by Black authors (When No One is Watching is a fantastic one, also written by a romance novelist, Alyssa Cole) and this sounds fantastic.
People We Meet on Vacation by Emily Henry (releases May 11) – I adored Henry’s 2020 release, Beach Read, so I’m eagerly counting down until her next one. I’ve heard it has You’ve Got Mail vibes which only makes me want to read it more.
Podcasts I’m loving…
NPR’s Pop Culture Happy Hour – This has long been a favorite of mine and my husband’s, and their recent episode on Beverly Cleary made me want to revisit my childhood favorites.
Movie Therapy – A new-to-me podcast, the two co-hosts provide TV and movie recommendations for listeners’ life circumstances, and as an avid TV watcher who’s always looking for my next thing to watch, I’ve really been enjoying this one.
Things I’m cooking…
Hello Fresh! And no, this isn’t sponsored (although I wish it were!). After hearing plenty of people rave about this meal kit delivery service, I finally gave them a try. And omigoodness, it’s been a meal saver. Meal planning and prepping are my least favorite things; I just don’t like spending a lot of time in the kitchen. That, combined with having eaten 95% of my own cooking this past year and I’ve been in a serious dinner rut. But Hello Fresh has made cooking dinner something I look forward to – between their easy recipes and perfectly prepped ingredients (minus a little bit of chopping), I no longer have to think about what to make for dinner. Right now it’s just me eating it (my husband does his own thing), and I can typically get three servings out of the suggested two. Plus it’s really cut down on food waste. (If you want to give it a try, my referral code will get you $40 off your first box .)
What I’m watching…
I finally watched Bridgerton and now understand what all the fuss was about. I want more! But be forewarned: it’s quite racy. I recommend watching it when little eyes aren’t around.
Another book-to-Netflix show I devoured was Behind Her Eyes. I read the book a couple years ago, and that ending always leaves me a little speechless (and the show stays pretty true to the original story). It’s a hard book/show to recommend because I’m so torn on the ending. But I loved the acting and setting and atmosphere. So give it a try? Just know it tends to be something people either love or hate.
Links I’m clicking…
Late-Stage Pandemic is Messing With Your Brain via The Atlantic. It was nice to know there’s a reason my brain feels broken.
Notting Hill is a Rom-Com About the Joy of Staying at Home by R. Eric Thomas. I fully endorse this.
The diminishing returns of productivity culture by Anne Helen Petersen. If you aren’t already subscribed to Petersen’s newsletter, it’s my absolute FAVORITE.
Things bringing me joy…
If you follow me on Instagram you know I’ve recently become an Olive & June convert. As someone who was never able to give myself a pretty manicure, something about their system has made me feel like I could open up a salon. And having nicely painted nails just makes me feel a little more put together, which is a much needed feeling right now.
An upcoming trip to Target, Barnes & Noble, Trader Joe’s. Now that I’m fully vaccinated, I’m trying to ease back into some of my long-missed errands. And I can’t WAIT.
These aerie shorts and bras. Now that spring is here, that means some cooler loungewear. And aerie is still my fave.
Books I recommend…
Given the rise in Asian hate crimes and gun violence in the U.S., I’m suggesting two books to add to your shelf: Minor Feelings by Cathy Park Hong and A Better Place by Pati Navalta Poblete. Reading and educating ourselves is only a small part of what we can do to advocate and make this world one that is safe for everyone. We also need to take action, and this is a great roundup of ways to do just that.
I’d love to hear from you! Feel free to let me know what you’ve been reading, what’s bringing you joy, or what your favorite Trader Joe’s finds are :)
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